late night

Sorry, I am running really late tonight, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight with the guys, and I am proud to say I did not drink anything but soda. They kept trying to get me to have a beer, but not only am I broke, but beer is making my tummy stick out more then my wallet. Not to mention the fact I said I was going to give up drinking because it is just dragging me down in life and I really dont need all the bullshit associated with drinking too much all the time. I had a really good time tho, all the people that worked there thought it was odd that I didnt have a beer in my hand. I find that a sign that things are on the upswing in my life.

I heard back from my ex girlfriend tonight about that email I sent her, she didn't seem too happy about the whole thing but asked me if she could take the night to think about it. I of course said yes, because I am praying to God that she will say yes, and we can give this whole thing one last try. I really don't want to push her out of my life, but I can't be her friend either. I love her too much, and have given too much of my life, to just sit back and let it go. The biggest thing that bothers me about the whole being friends thing is that if she starts dating someone further down the road is how am I going to react. I mean, I know exactly how I would react and thats not a good thing tho. Like I said tho, I am hoping and praying that things will turn out in a good way. I really miss her, and I want to prove to her that we can work through our problems together.

In the entire time we had been together I really dont think we ever really sat down and tired to figure out what was really causing us to be acting a certain way. We both just took the bad and pushed it aside instead of trying to work it out and find a solution for what was wrong. I dont think I can let that happen anymore in any relationship I am ever in, especially not if she takes me back. Now, the more I sit here and think about it the more I realize we never actually tired to work out our problems and differences we just kinda pushed them aside and went about our business. And thats not what a relationship is about, I mean, we need to be mature enough to talk about whats wrong while at the same time being mature enough to take whatever comes our way in proper stride.

Well enough about me and my relationship troubles. I still hate my job, yes its true folks. I really do hate my job and tonight it is official, even the guy who started with me at the same time I did, in the same position I did, finally admitted that he is also sick and tired of all the bullshit that comes with that job. We have been treated like shit pretty much since the get go, but it seems the longer we stay there the worse it gets. Also tonight we realized that the last year at the company has gone by so fast that we will be getting really old there fast. One year has really felt like just a couple of months, and I am scared that I will get trapped in that job like so many other people in that place have. I mean, c'mon who really wants to polish rings for 20+ years? I know I sure as hell don't want that job the rest of my life.

Anyway enough complaining for one night, I need to get to bed. I have had a really long day and I am ready for some much needed sleep. Gym tomorrow (again) they were working on my machines today I couldn't get a chance to work out on them as of yet. Goodnight.

M